Thursday, June 25, 2009

Is it true?

No pictures, no funny stories, actually, this is a plea for HELP!!! You all know that Maya is "Heather reincarnated" as many of you like to put it. She is FULL of energy, sass, sweetness, strong will, determination, and......she likes things HER WAY! Did I mention stubborn??!!

On Monday of this week as I was picking up Maya at daycare, I asked Amber (my daycare lady) how Maya was today....the usual question every day that I pick her up. Some of the most common responses are 1) She didn't eat well today 2) She didn't sleep well today 3) She was so loving today 4) She is having trouble sharing with the other kids 5) She was my little helper today 6) She was great today (I LOVE this one) 7) She has been kinda whiny today 8) She was just okay today.....

BUT, I heard a new response on Monday..... "SHE IS MY MOST DIFFICULT CHILD!"

Eesh!!!

Continuing to talk to Amber about Maya being the most difficult child in her daycare she told me that Maya has gotten really physical, and it's not getting better, but worse. She pushes the other kids when they have a toy she wants, are sitting where she wants to sit, or just for no real reason at all. She throws things a lot, toys, cups, food, whatever is in her hand at the moment when she gets the urge to throw.....AND, she said that she is kinda the bully of the group! Maya is the only girl in the daycare as well. Granted, it is only a group of 5-7 kids on the days Maya is there, but all but 1 of the boys are older than her...and she is bullying all of them? Oh wow.

I was SHOCKED....I sat there thinking, is it true? Is my Maya really a bully, oh my gosh! I felt horrible. I am her mother, it is my responsibility to teach her how to act and treat others. What am I doing wrong? What can I do to help her? What is going on with her to make her act this way?

Monday night when we got home I sat down with Maya and talked to her about this, reminding her that pushing hurts people and its a big NO NO, and throwing is not okay, and explained to her why. I asked her about Colton (the 1 year old she pushed off his chair and he got a goose egg on his head that day), and she said "I love Colton mommy", and she even prayed for him that night, as she does many nights along with Amber and the other boys at daycare.

As I have talked to some people about this, I have been told, she is just acting like a normal 2 and a half year old, she'll grow out of it....

But is she really?

I am beginning to think that this may be the case of the "only child syndrome." I dont see this kind of behavior out of Maya when we are together, but then I got to thinking, at our house every single toy is hers, what she wants, she can pretty much get. If she wants to color, or play with her dolls, or with her blocks...she can switch from toy to toy and not have anyone she has to share with. Although I haven't seen her "bully behavior," I have seen her tendency to throw things, and to no avail she does still do this often.

This is where I turn to you for HELP!!

All my friends, family, blogging followers, HELP ME!!! If you've had an only child, or a bully of a child, or have any advice at all... I NEED IT!!!!

Maya really is such a sweet girl, so happy, and soooo sweet, but I fear that if I don't figure out how to help her filter through these other emotions and behaviors, that they will become an even greater problem, and I dont want that for my princess!!

**I have been reluctant to even post about this because what mother wants to advertise that their daughter is being a bully at daycare (sigh...) but I trust that someone out there has something valuable to say that can help me, so I'm counting on YOU! :)

2 comments:

Larsens said...

Don't worry about it and this is coming from a mother of only one child. You described my life with Alex so well when you wrote about Maya... She is only 2 and she will be just fine. No worries. Just teach her along the way when her understanding gets better. Good luck. Love you.

♥Shally said...

My advice would be to try and set up play dates where you can help her learn how to share. Jax was the SAME WAY. It took a lot of teaching and modeling to get him to share. When kids came over I always let him pick one toy that he didn't want to share. We would hide it in his closet and no one could touch it. All other toys were fair game. It gave him a sense of control.

Don't worry- she'll learn! :)